Holy Handmade, it’s knitted Jesus!

21 May

According to some folks we have until 6pm today to cast off loose ends. At this time Jesus will pop down, gather up all his believers and then smite the rest of us blasphemous demonic mortal fools.

In preparation for this I sorted my little sis out with a bit of Holy Handmade for just such an occasion when her birthday came around last year.

Warning: Holy Handmade Whodunnknit inside

Holy handmade, Batman! Crafty Christ has risen!

This exclusive edition Holy Handmade Knitted Jesus features not one but two miracles. He’s busting out the fibre loaves and fishes to feed the 5000 while simultaneously walking on woolly water. What a guy!

Walking on woolly water

Bulrushes a la Moses and the basket

"Jesus, why are you doing the big arms thing?" "Well, I don't know… I just thought I'd do a big arms thing, I don't know." "Well, I'm going to do a big arms thing as well." "Yeah, me too! I'll call that the big arms..." "Look, we can't all do big arms! We'll look like a squadron of Spitfires, for fuck's sake! I'll do big arms and you just look at me and go, 'Ooh, he's doing big arms.' "

Purls be with you (and also with you).

Nice knowing you all.

*settles in with needles, yarn and a nice cup of tea to wait for the fiery apocalypse*


10 Responses to “Holy Handmade, it’s knitted Jesus!”

  1. Craftygal May 21, 2011 at 17:39 #

    Cute! Hubby said “Get a grip.” lol.

    • Deadly Knitshade May 22, 2011 at 11:47 #

      Thanks. 🙂

      Did he say ‘Get a grip’ because you thought Jesus was cute or because you were being lifted into the heavens for the Rapture?

  2. knitabulous May 22, 2011 at 01:01 #

    So, you still here? Me too. We must have been left behind.

    Love your knitted Jesus. He could be the start of a holy trinity mantlepiece collection.

    • Deadly Knitshade May 22, 2011 at 11:48 #

      Yup. Still here. My “I knitted a Jesus” bargaining chip goes unused. 🙂

      I wonder if I can make a holy ghost out of Kidsilk Haze…

  3. Ruth E. Seeger May 23, 2011 at 12:51 #

    Just wanted to say it is a great thing you did!! I am still here also.
    sent to my daughter and she would like me to make one!!! She wants to take to church and show everyone. Got a pattern for it or do we have to struggle to make one..(would never come out as good as yours!!)
    This is something that is needed in more places than it is now!!
    Thanks so much…so glad that I got this…………

    • Deadly Knitshade May 23, 2011 at 13:05 #

      Thanks! 🙂

      There’s isn’t a specific pattern but I adapted my Blank Body pattern and used i-cord for the water. The rest is all a bit of fly-by-night knitting. Should be easy enough to work out if you just look at the shapes. Let me know how you get on.

      I may do a pattern for it when I have more time. He’s a popular guy. Who knew? 🙂

  4. Queen Laureen May 24, 2011 at 20:56 #

    Traveled from Alaska to Nebraska on Rapture Day…I am still walking the planet…husband LUVS the Woolly Hay-Zeus….right on!! He wants me to knit one to hang from the rear view mirror of his truck…!!

  5. The Sister May 25, 2011 at 11:03 #

    I LOOOOOVE HIM 🙂 He lives on my bookshelf.

    Thank you so much.

  6. armyofknitters June 17, 2011 at 02:15 #

    Eddie Izzard reference, per chance? Love it!! Woolly Jesus ROCKS!!

    • Deadly Knitshade June 17, 2011 at 06:58 #

      Thanks! I like my knitted messiahs like I like my coffee: covered in bees!

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